Things I Have Feared to Read

Things I Have Feared to Read

l have always been able to do it. To avoid thoughts that need to be heard. Words that have been written long ago but have been refused a voice. A sound that threatens the smile on my face. Phrases that take my crutches away before I can fully walk on my own. These contemplations that expound on the reasons I should hide. This place that made it so I had no need for comfort foods, therapy, or a friend to talk too. The space which judges turn their signs around to reveal perfect tens for signs of depression. This frame of mind that explains the pains of lack of motivation. And images that should have taken my breath away but made me intake a paradox that isnt so different. This the chamber that has taken all of my grieves and unwanted thoughts has found itself too full. And beckons me (with in a persuasive tone) to unlatch its deteriorating pad lock. 

i and you

i once ask you to be the real you, you gave it to me for a few days and let me hold it, but then i felt you start to recoil, so i did my best to hold on to it as long as i could but then you started to fight back because you didnt trust me anymore and as i held on you started to burn me, and at first i thought that the pain was worth it and that the boils that where forming on my hands would be easier to bare then a heart extinguished, and once i let go of you because the resistance was too great i look at my hands and saw what holding on to you had done to me and i fought back, i used poison where you had used flames, leaving scars for my boils, but all those boils did was cause me pain when i later tried to touch other hearts that could use some piecing back together, and not only did my heart hurt i couldnt reach out for help because i feared the pain that would be caused by someone grabbing my hand.