Patience

A lot of people have told me that I have a lot of patience. But I feel I have never had the patience for myself. I say that I only have patience for the things that are out of my reach.

    An examples of some things out of my reach;
        The amount of time it takes to make a sculpture.
        The amount of time that I spend on writing.
        The amount of time I lay awake in my bed.
        The amount of time cakes bake.
        The amount of time it takes for the clock to work.
        The amount of time the laundry spins.
        The amount of time it takes to travel to California.
        The amount of time my shift at work takes.
        The amount of time it takes to think up a post.   
        The amount of time the family wants to be awake.
        The amount of time it takes to get to school.
        The amount of time my body is sick.

For the things that I have my grip on is another list. I will recite them in paragraph form.

  I have never been able to be comfortable in my life. Well at least since the age of eight. Life has been complicated the ten years in between then and now. I have never kept up with any one thing. I mostly mean hobbies. In those years I started rebelling against my parents. I did it the nicest way. But I know they think they have no control over me. They told me I have no curfew just so I would stop breaking it. Yet I have not control over them. I feel like I have no control over myself too. But I know that is not true ether. One of my best friends told me I am living a lie. It took them saying this to finally admit it myself. If I want to believe that I have patience then it is in hiding. Because isn't hiding just waiting until you can come out?