If This Scarf Is Yours I Used It

  Tonight I had a talk with my phone. I recorded myself so I wouldn't have to talk to the cold air. I am glad I did that. I had to talk out loud. When I think in my head I can stop any thoughts I don't want to hear. Yet when I talk I have to keep vocalizing my thoughts. I want to just dive in on what I said but I'll have to be shallow for my sake.

  My walk started after playing with my friends. I was tried of getting rides home from them. So I walked home with no intent of going home soon. I walked in the wrong direction just so I could think about what I would  be thinking about. I started back home and pull out my phone. I saw that the battery was almost dead and thought I might give it a proper burial soon. I then opened the recording application and started doing what the app does. I talk about how I needed to keep warm so I could stay out side longer. I talked about my future and how unsure it is. I spoke about how I don't tell my best friend these things because I cant speak about them. I also told my best friend that she has to listen to it. I talked about words and about their importance to me. I talked about all the things that would affect my future.

  I stop the recording by saying this...

                          "I have slipped tonight and I haven't gotten back up."

  I don't go home for another half hour and at the beginning of that half hour I met this scarf.

  At first I just stared at it. I felt cold so I put it around my neck. I let it hug me. My thoughts told me I should go home but I had stop listening to those type of thoughts. Instead I thought that I would put back the scarf when I was done using it. I wore it when I whistled. I wore it while a random person walked their quiet dog. I wore it while I took a picture of a tree. I stared to walk home for the third time this evening with better intentions but I still had on the scarf. I tore it off and took a picture of it. I put it back where I had met it. I wanted to stay out longer but I hadn't gotten the opportunity to meet some gloves.

    -Feathers On Fish