I Wrote You This

I couldn't look at your beautiful face because it was something that I was forbidden to have,

I wouldn't keep the broken chain because I had fixed it and I knew that I couldn't  fix what was happening,

I couldn't give you my jacket even though I knew you were cold because my heart was starting to freeze,

I wouldn't read your body language because I knew I would see you in less pain than me,

I couldn't move myself from the wall because it's coldness was warmer than what I was feeling from your mother,

I wouldn't I look at you when I drove off because I knew I would start to weep,

I couldn't let you touch me even though you wanted to because I thought it might haunt you and I wouldn't have that,

I couldn't come to tell you that I was just starting to be comfortable with the memories rushing back to me because I though the words might sting, 

I wouldn't speak much to you because I was in no condition to think before I spoke,

I couldn't think about me on the drive home because I was crying thinking about how you must be suffering,

I wouldn't stop the tears because they yours and not mine,

I couldn't stop myself from taking the blanket out of my car because I didn't want to use it with anyone else,

I wouldn't walk in the house crying so stopped so they would only notice the blanket in my hands because the tears were starting to be mine again,

I couldn't tell you how I was feeling in person so I wrote you this.