I have always said to the people that asked me "What do you want to be when you grow up?" that "I didn't know." This is one of my lies I speak to people. I have known that I want to be something else. To be able to state that on the spot. I want it to be uncomfortable to be hiding behind a pen name not the other way around. I have known that I could change yet I never knew the cost or the pain. I thought that I could just slip in to a new hair cut and new clothes; thinking that I would have the confidence that came with them. I had never hear of identity crises. It is taking time for me to cripple the current me enough to not hear him cry. Its not that I was a bad person I was actually a pretty good person in my point of view. Its just I have known that I can be better then I was now.
When people ask me "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I don't want to tell them. I want to show them.
Last two sentences literally took over my soul. You are amazing.
ReplyDelete"It is taking time for me to cripple the current me enough to not hear him cry." Damn.
ReplyDeleteLovin it, can relate to you about all this.
ReplyDelete"I have known that I could change yet I never knew the cost or the pain." and the last three lines, those really stood out to me. Thanks for this!